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Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That

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My main goal for 2014 is to focus on myself mentally, physically, spiritually, and financially. 2013 was a year of change, good, bad, and neutral. I kind of fell off the path I was headed on in 2012, the path I needed and wanted to continue along. I fell back into certain bad habits such as negative thinking, self-doubt, and self-dislike. I lost some of my self-esteem that I had gained in 2012 and the years past. At the same time, I made a major move, nearly 11hours from home into my own little apartment with my best girl, a new city, a [sorta] new job, new people, new responsibilities. That move brought me a brand new start. Not knowing anybody helped me free my mind somewhat from expectations and social pressures. Not knowing my way around gave me increased confidence in my ability to learn directions and new things in general. Having Jayde all to myself and vice versa gave me focus toward her needs and our relationship. Having the apartment to myself all day and every night helped me realize a little more what my ideal balance of social and alone time is (i.e. I function pretty darn well when I’m alone 98% of the time). I became calmer, not as apt to extreme mood swings, and settled into the role of ‘adult’ that required me to pay bills, take care of household responsibilities, and take complete control of myself (i.e. nobody telling me to get up, brush the dogs, clean my room, etc. etc.)

Goals for 2014 include saving $600 [if not more]; try meditation; practiceย Radical Honesty;ย clean up my diet by reducing sugar intake, drinking more water, and eating more fruits and veggies; and practicing daily gratitude. Some of these might be monthly projects, but I am not limiting them to 30 days. I want to bring more awareness into my life in these areas. This blog will be geared toward my process of bettering myself.

Peace & Pawprints

 

 

2014

My name is Heather and I’m a terrible blogger.

This year I’m going to attempt post-a-day 2014, just as I did in 2012.

2013 was quite the year. Lessons, growth, change, discovery. Graduation from college with my bachelor’s degree. Getting into my first choice criminology grad program. Moving out of and away, far away, from my parents’ home and my home town. Those were the broad marking points of 2013. Many little moments in and of each.

I don’t fully have my plans for 2014 written out yet. Hopefully these will come within the week. Expect pictures, quotes, progress updates, and hopefully a bit more focus as the weeks go by.

Peace & Pawprintsย 

Just Dutch

I began this post a few days ago (the 18th) but didn’t have the energy to put the pictures in. I was more trying to get my thoughts out.

To say today was great would be an understatement.

The weather was beautiful (read: NO RAIN!!!!) and I was having an excellent hair day. I knew that I couldn’t sit around my apartment for another whole day like I had been over the weekend. So despite not wanting to spend money for at least a few more days, I decided to visit a coffee place that I had heard rave reviews about through co-workers and a fellow dog park attendee. Plus, the place in question is having a special: show your student ID and get any coffee for just $1. How cool is that?! So anyway I figured since it was only going to be a dollar I could do that.

So Jayde and I get in the car, I slide my shades on, Jayde sticks her head out the open window, and off we go. Moving car meets red stoplight. At said stoplight (corner of the intersection, really) is a couple who is there pretty much every day. A homeless couple, that is. Today their sign said, “Anything Helps Amen.” Having driven by them many times before, I knew it was only a matter of time before I broke down. While I am suspicious of people, wondering if they’re trying to pull off a scam or other awful thing, the scrawniness of these two and their consistency at the same street corner, and the fact that they are always together… I went to Subway and got a footlong and bottle of water. When I came back around, I had to lean over the passenger seat and get the woman’s attention in order to give her the water and the sandwich. The amount of gratitude in her voice when she saw the bottle of water I was giving her, nearly brought tears to my eyes. I don’t understand how someone gets in the position of being homeless, having to lose dignity and beg from others for food and money, but it is so so sad (the legitimate cases, that is).

The experience shook me. I felt good for having done a good deed. Perhaps that water and sandwich was all they would eat today. But it jolted me, as if the barrier between “oh everything is good and dandy” and the darker side of the world was suddenly taken down a notch. I guess you could say I lost some of my ignorance today concerning the realities of what some people live with and through. There is a big difference between reading about, or seeing videos/documentaries of, homeless people, children with cancer, animal abuse, etc. etc. and actually being there, involved in maybe, or even just seeing with your own eyes, or even better your heart. It’s so easy to views things we see in the media as just another news story or just another statistic. But when you are there, you see the individual or individuals who are affected. It is real, it is raw. It hurts. As they say, ignorance is bliss.

After that experience – still clear as day in my head – I turned on Siri and used Map (tell me you didn’t read that in Dora’s voice xD) as a back-up to get to my destination. I knew the street names and such but I wasn’t sure how far along the streets I was supposed to go. (Yes, I’d be hopelessly lost without modern technology.)

End destination:

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I was tempted to use the walk-up window instead of the drive-thru, but I hadn’t seen anywhere to park and there were quite a few cars. So I waited patiently in line, wondering what I would order. There was no menu to look at while waiting, so I had to wait until I actually got to the window to peruse what they had. I asked the girl (who had immediately awwhh’ed at Jayde and given her a treat – definitely a winner in my book) if my student ID as a grad student would work and she said yes. So I told her since I’d never been there before I wasn’t sure what I wanted yet. I quickly decided on a Caramelizer, iced. She made it right there and I don’t think Jayde ever took her eyes off of what they were doing inside. She was very intrigued, or maybe just wanted another treat. Either way, the girl handed me a large iced coffee drink and said, “Actually the first one is on us. So enjoy!” and she gave Jayde another treat. Um, yes! How awesome is that?! To say I was excited would be the second understatement of the day. And the drink was delicious, just fyi. ๐Ÿ‘

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I still didn’t want to go back home right away, so I decided to explore this new section of town I had exposed myself to. I think I learned the layout a tad better, so that’s a start. And I love love love the Spring’s downtown. The buildings, the stores, the shops, the little restaurants and cafes, the statues and other artistic pieces, the rustic look, the majestic feel, the variety of people, the busy-ness of everybody going about their business. While I’m not one for lots of people, today I felt less like a tourist and more like a part of the town. (But I still felt like a tourist snapping photos with my phone every chance I got.) Yes, I actually enjoyed seeing everybody out and about. I didn’t feel crowded or overwhelmed. Perhaps it was because the tidal wave that hit Colorado has now passed and the weather was just gorgeous, so you couldn’t help but be in a good mood and just thankful.

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Peace.

Agility, Montague’s, & H2O

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The sky tonight.

Boy, do I have a lot to share with you. Lots and lots of photos in particular. Hope you’re ready for it!

Every Wednesday morning, Jayde and I have agility class. We’ve only been going for about three weeks, but we absolutely love it. We’re in the advanced class with two other ladies who have an aussie and a terrier mix. Wonderful people. And if you didn’t already know this, I kinda sorta really have a soft spot for aussies (yes, someday I will own another one!). Indy (male blue merle) is absolutely gorgeous, intense, fast, energetic. Just a blast to watch and I can only imagine what he’d be like to run. (Seriously though, there’s nothing more photogenic than a merle aussie, except perhaps Jayde.) Anyway.

Jayde and I have not done serious agility for quite a while. I’ll be honest, I stopped training at home because the connection was gone when we ran. She didn’t enjoy agility a single bit. And while I adore the sport, I wasn’t going to do it to her if she wasn’t loving it and having fun like I was. But I knew when we moved that I would have to find something to keep us both occupied and maybe to make some new connections with people, and what better way to do that than agility? I went into it with the mindset that we were just going to play, fool around, keep it light, and who cares if she didn’t keep criteria or knocked a bar?

Well, I think it was about two weeks before I actually got enrolled in classes and became a regular. But I could see the change in Jayde the first time we ran a small course together there. She was engaged, she was excited, she wanted more, I could see it in her eyes and her body language. She loved it. Let me tell you, there is no better feeling than knowing your partner, your teammate, your dog loves something you do together. It’s a connection that cannot be beat. And that made me love it tenfold. Of course I didn’t immediately assume we were back to our old ways and I could get into serious training. We’re still keeping it a game, if she messes up, I don’t make a big deal out of it like I used to. (If you haven’t ascertained this by now, *I* was the problem in the relationship the entire time – of course).ย Every Wednesday so far she has never become stressed, nervous, or shut down. She keeps her eyes on me the entire time and is so eager to run with me. Like I said, no better feeling. โค We’re going to keep playing and maybe I’ll take it more seriously down the road, enter a trial or two, but I’m not ever going to sacrifice my relationship with Jayde again. Love that dog so so much. (I have to add, it’s a shame that dogs bear the brunt of human mistakes and fumbles… but that’s a whole post by itself.)

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~~~

After agility this week, I knew I had to get down to business and work on some homework. So I left Jayde sleeping on the couch, picked another coffee shop off my list, and headed downtown.

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I’m not going to lie. My first impression of this place was “old lady’s house.

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My second impression was, “Holy crap there are a lot of people here!”

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I grabbed a table by the door before going up to order coffee. I couldn’t believe the amount of furniture and people stuffed into such a tiny little area. But somehow, it worked. There were all sorts of baked goodies on the counter. I heard the barista tell another guest that everything was made from scratch “back in the tiny kitchen.” And the menu was very fancy.

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It was a very homey place. Someone appeared to be doing some serious work on her laptop at another window. Another lady walked in with her friend and said, “Oh my, I just might go take a nap on one of those couches!” What looked like a knitting club (or otherwise busy activity) was huddled around a round table at the end of the coffee bar.

I sipped my coffee and set to work with notes on the lecture material, reading other responses on the online discussion forum, and otherwise focused on getting what I needed to do done. Looking back, I think I would’ve liked to visit such a cafe with a more relaxed task instead of something drilling like short answer questions. But, I finished the assignments, packed up my stuff and headed out. This time I took the back door (because I had to park in the back, in an alleyway). And this is what I saw.

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And probably the coolest outside seating ever

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Overall, I enjoyed my stay at Montague’s. It was an interesting atmosphere.

~~~

Later that day, I found a bookstore.

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And perused the downtown just a bit the next day. But it was a tad intimidating so Jayde and I went home. ๐Ÿ™‚

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And last but not least, the h2o situation. H2o as in rain. Rain as in flooding. Lots of it. I’m no stranger to storms (and even minor tornadoes) but the amount of flooding going on all around my area is slightly alarming. All I can say is I hope this is as bad as it’s going to get and the rain decides to visit Texas, or Florida, or the Atlantic. Even Alaska. Just go away from here. xP Anyway, please keep Coloradans in your thoughts! โค

Off to watch a movie withย Ashley! Hope everyone has a safe Friday the 13th! (it is only a number after all xD).

Peace & Pawprints

 

The Coffee Exchange

I was inspired by Liz’s project,ย Forty Days of Fika, to make my own list of coffee places to visit in my new city. Further pushed by Ash’s development of her blog,ย coffee with ashley, I broke down and plucked one place off my list to visit today.

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I wasn’t sure what to expect. I was excited for a new coffee place, exploring a new part of the city, and of course, coffee. What compounded my excitement was their online menu. Zombie drinks.ย What are zombie drinks? I wondered the same thing. Walking in gave me my answer: White espresso, which supposedly has twice the amount of caffeine as normal espresso. But I’m getting ahead of myself. ๐Ÿ™‚

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After the cozy outside seating, bright flowers, bright blues, and “Gluten-free items available” sign on the front window, the first thing that struck me was the door handle. A bronze elephant head. Very interesting, very unique, very funky. ย When I opened the door, I looked straight to the back. The brick & wood walls, the artistic canvases, the variety of seating. A rather large business meeting was being held around a large round table in front of the ordering area. Seemingly in the middle of everything and yet out of the way. Interesting. And the office chairs around the table that the folks were sitting in: high backed, comfortable, rolling office chairs. Interesting.

I chose a table right next to the window and almost instantly regretted the decision because the sun was already beating down strongly at 9:30am. But I decided to order before perusing the other tables. Before ordering however, I put my stuff down and took a look around. There was a book nook, a large bulletin board covered with fliers, announcements, advertisements, etc., a display case of seran-wrapped homemade lemon bars, pumpkin bread, cookies, and all sorts of other goodies. A table set up in front of the case had cream, sugar, honey, clean spoons, a spot for dirty spoons, napkins.

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Walking further into the shop, I stared in amazement at the menu. Huge, covering almost the entire wall, so many things to choose from. In addition to a large variety of coffee & espresso drinks, they also serve salads, sandwiches, and had a small liquor section at the end of the bar. Interesting! While the gentleman in front of me was ordering, I took the time to try and take in everything on the counter and on the wall in front of me. Fliers, treats, bumper stickers, decorations.

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I noticed a couple batches of what looked like peanut butter cookies on the counter. Homemade goodies. ๐Ÿ™‚ After looking over the menu, I asked the barista what she liked best. She pointed out a few options, then pointed out a new zombie drink they had recently added to the menu: the Dirty Zombie. I.e. white espresso, dark chocolate, and peanut butter syrup. That one was definitely calling my name. After I paid I walked back to my table, taking in the business meeting and the people that were trickling in here and there. The gentleman who had been in front of me in line had taken the table I was going to switch to, so I sat back down at my original table and just observed. They called out my drink, I took it to my table, and marveled at it.

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And the table. The table had coffee beans IN it.

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How cool is that?!

I gradually worked my way past the delicious whipped cream and took a sip. Decadence. Heaven in a cup for sure.

For a while I just sat there and soaked everything in. People trickled in and out. Two ladies at the next table over seemed to be having a cooking discussion, sharing articles and tricks. The gentleman was reading something in the paper and writing occasional notes on a notepad. Three young women in business attire came in and got coffee drinks to go. It seemed to be a popular place for business people, but was still had a casual and laidback environment and feel to it. I figured I should open my computer and try to get some work done but I was too entranced with the place and the people. I sat there, sipping my coffee and observing, until the gentleman got up and left. As he walked out he met my eye and told me to have a good day. That is what I love about coffee shops; the genuine companionship you feel, even if you never say a word to each other. I smiled and said the same to him, then moved to his now vacated-table. It was much cooler, and I opened my laptop to work.

I did get some studying done, but I couldn’t help but notice the people who were coming and going. It was fascinating to watch: women in running outfits, men in suits and ties, a lady with a bluetooth, two friends grabbing coffee before going about their day.

Eventually I wrapped up the section I was working on and packed up my stuff. I hadn’t kept time on how long I’d been there but I figured my parking time was almost up. I was reluctant to leave, but that gives me all the more reason to come back!

Instead of heading straight back home, I decided to tour the street a bit more and see where it headed. Let’s just say, I found the downtown part of the Springs, one way streets and all. Yes, I hate one way streets. But instead of being fearful and just pledging to stay away from it, I’m going to take it as a challenge. I will learn the layout of the downtown and be able to drive there confidently. Plus, it is much more beautiful than my hometown’s downtown. And I found a few signs leaded to a park that I have not yet checked out! On to another adventure with Jayde. ๐Ÿ™‚

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As soon as I got home, I took Jayde for a walk (i.e. squirrel hunting). She had a blast. We walked around the complex for about an hour. She treed many squirrels. At one point three different squirrels went three different directions and she had no idea which way to go. My girl is comical. I get such a kick out of her. ๐Ÿ™‚

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I’m definitely going to be exploring more coffee shops in town, so expect more posts of that!

Peace&Pawprints

Is this real life? Not at all…

It’s been three weeks since I moved to a new city, a new state, a “new” job, and a new way of life. A more independent way of life. A “big girl” life where bills visit my mailbox, the apartment doesn’t stay clean on it’s own (thank you, Mom!), and the outside world is suddenly on my doorstep, ready or not.

Three weeks since I started this new chapter of my life, starring myself & Jayders. Three weeks since I paid for my first month’s rent + down payments + pet fees. And in two days, rent will be due again. Hello life.

I’ve learned some things about myself since moving away from my family, my friends, my hometown, and everything familiar & comfortable to me. I guess that happens when you step out of your comfort zone, but then I can’t say for sure that what I was living in WAS my so-called “comfort zone.” It seems so natural to say that your hometown is where your heart is, where you know the street names, streetlights, and places where the cops sit to catch speeders, where your old high school friends acquaintances return to settle down with families & careers. I remember an incident in my freshman year, during a history class. Some students were having a discussion about moving away and how they couldn’t wait to get away from that small, crappy, boring town. A guy suddenly spoke up louder than the rest: “Why wouldn’t you want to stay? You know where everything is….” etc. etc. I remember my internal reaction to this statement being, “He doesn’t get it.” Even though at that point in my life I had no confidence in myself and was pretty convinced I wouldn’t want to move anywhere else because of my fear of the unknown. But that’s what my gut told me.

While I only have a short three weeks between my “old” life and the life I’m living right now, I think I can say with a high degree of confidence that I’ve changed, grown into a different person. ย I can’t imagine going back to living the way I was in Iowa. By that I think I mean living under the expectations [real or perceived only by myself & yes that is a trick statement], the pressure [again, same], the questioning [not necessarily bad, but irritating after a while], the drama [mostly family stuff]. It might sound cliche to say that I needed to get away from my hometown because it held (holds?) too much ‘bad’ history for me, personally. Or maybe saying that I felt stifled there, among everybody and everything, is a better way to put it. I don’t know. All I know and am slowly starting to understand is that being away from home, away from anything and everything I know, has taken a huge weight off my shoulders. I feel more free to be myself and listen to my own wants, needs, & gut instincts without worrying about what others think, what my parents would expect, what I *should* be doing.

So. Here are some things I’ve learned, realized, been struck stupid by, since moving away from home:

  • You really can get another sandwich [or stuffed kong] out of a supposedly empty peanut butter jar (sorry for all the times I discarded the “empty” PB jar, Dad!)
  • I really don’t need/care to have a t.v. This might seem obvious to those who knew me well but I figured that I’d be some what put off by not having a t.v. around, just because there has always been one around… yes, faulty logic, but still.
  • I’m more independent than I thought. By that I mean independent is something I am. I think it was covered and hidden by all my insecurities and fears throughout the years. I never really believed in myself or had confidence in my abilities, always relying on someone else to back me up or take the lead. But now that I’ve grown and realized that “It’s all in what you believe” I have had a mass adjustment to my thinking (perhapsย thisย might show that a bit). That could be an entire blog post in itself – including the subheading of “No one is coming/No one cares.”
  • One person generates more dishes than I thought. I have been trying to keep up with making homemade dinners (versus just frozen entrees, mac n cheese, etc.) so that adds to it.
  • Jayde has shown – so far – the marks of an exemplary apartment dog. She’s adjusted better than I had ever hoped!
  • My learning of street names & locations of certain destinations has proceeded much faster than I thought it would I can make it to work and back without using my GPS. I know what (most) streets turn into what (most) other streets. I know the rough layout of both main streets on both ‘sides’ of town. Next thing on my list is learning the relations between various streets, where they intersect, etc. so I can find the best/fastest routes to get where I’m going.
  • I have trust issues. I knew at home that I didn’t trust many people and mostly kept to myself and my family and friends. But perhaps it’s because I’m in a new city surrounded by exactly zero people I know that it has shown its true colors. I’m not just distrustful of people; I’m almost downright defensive. I’m very cautious and I always watch my back when I’m out with Jayde ย (both in daylight and at night). For some reason, I’m very suspicious of people. For instance: “Why is that guy looking at me? He said hi?! What’s he saying hi for? He’s got to have an ulterior motive….” Perhaps I sound a bit paranoid, but I don’t feel paranoid, or feel as if anybody is “out to get me.” I’m just very suspicious and pretty much keep to myself.

That’s all I have for that list for now. Perhaps I’ll add more later. Anyway I have a paper that has to be done and some readings to get started on. Hopefully next time I’ll have pictures for y’all. ๐Ÿ™‚

Peace&Pawprints

Now taking donations of winning lottery tickets

At this very moment I am sitting on my couch in my living room (it feels so nice to say that!) with a bottle of h2o beside me and a good book. My stomach is full of the (failed) fried chicken, green beans, and sweet potato fries I made for dinner tonight. My sweatpants are cozy and comfortable. Behind me an incoming storm blows ominous breaths through my window, creating a melody of Mother Nature’s mood & manmade window blinds. A flash flood warning just beeped on my phone. Good thing I have nowhere to be the rest of tonight or tomorrow except my cozy apartment (I guess I *should* go to the bank tomorrow but…. we’ll see :P)

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I finally went [back] to work yesterday. The restaurant that is my home yet is so unfamiliar to me right now. The job duties were fine; I could reel off the menu items, procedures, sidework and whathaveyou without blinking an eye. My new co-workers, on the other hand, will take a while to get used to. Right now I do not associate them with the restaurant that is so familiar. I kept looking for all my old employees, as if I was back home. This restaurant is much busier than my old one though and I can tell that I have some learning to do about endurance. Same goes for Jayde while I am working later hours.

I absolutely love coming home to Jayde. She usually greets me with a yawn & stretch followed by a body wiggle and circle tail wags. She rubs against me like a cat, back and forth, and happily leaps into my arms if I invite her up. Her bright eyes stare up at me, waiting for me to feed her, take her out, pick up a toy, grab the leash. She holds no resentment for being in her kennel for such a long period of time. How many humans can you say that about? ๐Ÿ™‚

Today I woke up to Jayde’s very faint whine. According to her, I had slept in much too long. It was 8am, which is around the normal time we’ve been getting out of bed since we moved (2 whole weeks already! wow!). After feeding her breakfast and getting dressed, we went outside for the morning potty break (Jayde’s, not mine ;P). I brought her chuck-it and my book, in case she wanted to play. The morning was absolutely gorgeous and we both enjoyed soaking up the cool morning air.

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After we came back in, I started two loads of laundry then set to work cleaning. Someone once told me that when I got my own place I would take pride in keeping it clean and smelling good. This said person also told me that cleaning would help me relax. Now, while I do take pride in keeping my apartment clean, I can’t find the enjoyment in cleaning. I wish it would do itself. But it is satisfying knowing that once I sweep up all the hair, dirt, sand, and unknown particles in my kitchen it is no longer there. Same goes for vacuuming. One dog sure does drag in a ton of sand and dirt. Seeing the vacuum full of all the dirty stuff amazes me that it came out of my carpet in a week. Too bad the scrubbing part doesn’t have a satisfying after effect. xD

I finished one book today, and started another. Then Jayde and I went for a walk. With the squirrels we encountered, it was an adventure in itself! One squirrel got up the tree all right, then promptly lost it’s footing and nearly fell on my head. Another squirrel (a black one, something I’d never seen before) boldly came down the tree while we were eight feet away and took off for another tree. Jayde was rarin’ to go. She stalks the trees before we get within a hundred feet of them, just in case there is a squirrel hiding in the upraised roots.

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Later in the afternoon we walked to the office to get our mail. It’s always exciting to get letters and packages. I was excited when my modem came. And my blank checks came today. Anything from the UPS man is exciting I think. xD That being said, you can guess my excitement at seeing a bubble-wrapped package from Ambernessย in my mail box! What was inside was a plethora of goodies. The fruit snacks, the much needed chocolate bars (eeeeee!), the gum, and the Target bag made me smile. But it was the letter and the gift card that brought tears to my eyes. I’m not sure what I did to deserve such a good friend but today I feel blessed beyond measure. โค With her gift I was able to stock up on the necessities of milk, bread, and peanut butter, something I was holding off on doing until I was sure of my incoming money flow. So thank you, Amber, for brightening my day and helping me breath a little easier. ๐Ÿ™‚

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I am soaking up the free time I have with Jayde and with my books right now. I’m not sure how much free time I’ll have once class starts and I start working more hours. Jayde and I also visited an agility class which we hope to become involved in once I get the extra money. The people I’ve met so far have been so nice and their methods are exactly what I use, so I am extremely excited about that. I have the urge to get knowledge, share opinions, have long talks about dogs and training and puppies with likeminded folk. I want to meet more people, more dogs.

All in good time, right? All in good time. ๐Ÿ™‚

Peace&Pawprints